Set in the early decades of the 20th century, Downton Abbey became a cultural phenomenon, drawing audiences into the complex lives of the aristocratic Crawley family and their loving staff. A true comfort watch for lovers of period dramas and romances, this was a show that knew how to drive the drama in unique ways. Between shocking deaths, epic romances, and scheming plots, it’s no wonder why it earned such critical acclaim across its six seasons, while also spawning several spin-off films.
Of course, where Downton Abbey is often revered for its opulent settings and captivating characters, the show is also a treasure trove of sharp, heartfelt, and thought-provoking dialogue. As such, with the third film well and truly on its way, it only seems fair to celebrate the wonderful words of Julian Fellows and highlight Downton‘s best lines. And we’re not just talking about the most iconic ones (since Violet Crawley would easily dominate), we’re talking about the quotes from Downton Abbey that made us laugh, cry, and ponder about life in new and exciting ways.
Downton Abbey
- Release Date
- January 9, 2011
- Creator
- Julian Fellowes
- Seasons
- 6
10 “The business of life is the acquisition of memories. In the end, that’s all there is.”
Charles Carson (Season 4, Episode 4)
As a token of remembrance, Mrs Hughes (Phyllis Logan) gifts him a framed photograph of Alice. His response is beautiful in all its simplicity as it speaks about the universal truth: the fleeting nature of life and its lasting legacy of memories and relationships, not material pursuits. Mr. Carson’s words remind us to cherish these moments, a lesson that feels even more poignant given his lifelong dedication to service.
9 “It’s the gloomy things that need our help. If everything in the garden is sunny, why meddle?”
Lady Sybil Crawley (Season 1, Episode 6)
As an aristocratic high-born family, it isn’t that surprising that the Crawleys are often criticized for being out of touch with the real world – that is, except for sweet Sybil (Jessica Brown Findlay). As the youngest of the family, Sybil was seemingly their black sheep. Curious, compassionate, and a highly progressive woman, she despised the rigidity of societal expectations, often fiercely fighting for causes all about equality and helping those in need.
Noting his daughter’s growing interest in the nation’s contentious political scene, Lord Robert Grantham (Hugh Bonneville) voices his concern about Sybil’s well-being, questioning why she is so drawn to heavy-hearted causes. Without a beat, her words speak to her belief, that true purpose comes from uplifting those who are struggling, rather than trying to perfect something that is already thriving. In this one simple quote, audiences get a complete sense of Sybil’s spirit and moral clarity, cementing her as one of Downton‘s most beloved characters (as morality isn’t all that easy to come by in this universe).
8 “Real love means giving someone the power to hurt you.”
Tom Branson (Season 6, Episode 5)
Of all the characters in Downton, none experienced such an extreme social and personal transformation as Tom Branson (Allen Leech). First introduced as the Crawley’s chauffeur, he eventually became part of the family upon his marriage to Sybil. Though turbulent in the beginning, due to class and political differences, his relationship with the family strengthened, especially in the aftermath of Sybil’s tragic death. Indeed, Tom became the make-shift sibling of the Crawley trio, filling the void forged by Sybil’s absence.
His brotherly relationship with Mary was one of the great strengths in the later seasons, with one moment particularly standing out in Season 6. Eager to become her matchmaker, Tom attempts to encourage her interest in Henry Talbot (Matthew Goode), the dashing race car driver, despite Mary’s own stubborn denial. Wanting her to find happiness, Tom drops a little wisdom bomb to help alleviate her fears about falling in love again. It’s a short moment, but one that captures their familial love so clearly. His words are also especially poignant, given that both are deeply connected by their shared experiences of being a widow/widower.
7 “You are being tested. And you know what they say, my darling, being tested only makes you stronger.”
Cora Crawley, The Countess of Grantham (Season 3, Episode 3)
Where Robert Grantham may be the head of the Crawley family, Cora (Elizabeth McGovern) will always be its heart. A loving matriarch, who always sees the best in others, she is fiercely protective of her loved ones, especially when it comes to securing the well-being of her daughters — even with some needing her wisdom a tad bit more than others. Yes, it’s safe to say that Edith (Laura Carmichael) was the recipient of Cora’s support the most. And no scene exemplifies this more than when Edith got jilted at the altar.
Humiliated and distraught, Edith sobs on her bed while wearing her wedding dress and veil. Empathizing over her daughter’s pain, Cora gives her a heartfelt reminder of resilience in the face of adversity. Of course, this quote exemplifies the tenderness of a mother’s love as Cora’s words are equal parts comforting as they are empowering. And yet, there is also an added layer of meaning to it, since audiences are aware of Edith’s struggles in finding her place and being appreciated for her own merit.
6 “I have to take one thing for granted. That I will love you until the last breath leaves my body.”
Matthew Crawley (Season 3, Episode 6)
Other than Sybil, it’s well regarded that Matthew (Dan Stevens) was easily the most kindhearted character in the show. Starting out as a humble lawyer, only to unexpectedly become the heir to an aristocratic title, he still remained ever so benevolent regardless of whether he was interacting with family, staff, or mere acquaintances. However, it was witnessing his growing relationship with Mary that stole the hearts of audiences.
A complete romantic, Matthew had a way with words that often reassured Mary of his fierce love, even when they experienced trying times. One of the most memorable moments followed the sudden death of Sybil. Struggling to comprehend the tragedy of the situation, the two agreed to live life to the fullest, resulting in Matthew giving his greatest declaration of love. Where this definitely pulls at the heartstrings, avid fans of Downton can’t help but recognize the unfortunate foreshadowing at play. This makes this quote not only swoon-worthy and heartwarming, but also incredibly heart-breaking.
5 “Sometimes I don’t know whom I’m most in mourning for, Matthew or the person I used to be when I was with him.”
Lady Mary Crawley (Season 4, Episode 3)
From her very introduction, it was clear that Mary Crawley was made out to be the cold, bitter, and somewhat mean-spirited one in the family. However, much of that changed once she and Matthew forged a romantic relationship, as he was able to bring out a kindness and vulnerability that rarely anyone had ever seen before. That is why his sudden death was such a major blow – not only to the show, but to Mary’s own narrative arc.
Affected by her grief, Mary struggled to connect with any of her loved ones, including her own son. Thankfully, she manages to emerge from her dark bubble, but not without undergoing some deep reflection. Speaking to her beloved maid, Anna (Jo Froggatt), Mary expresses her concern about the ripple effects of Matthew’s death, and how this may also mean the loss of the kindhearted woman she became to be. Such introspection highlights the complexities of grief, while also bringing forth her sense of humanity. Where this can be upsetting, it actually makes Mary an even more compelling and relatable character with her navigating the hardships of loss and reinvention. It shows audiences a new side to her, ensuring they aren’t just put off by her abrasiveness.
4 “You’re a b***h, and not content with ruining your own life, you’re determined on ruining mine.”
Lady Edith Crawley (Season 6, Episode 8)
It’s almost an understatement to say that Edith struggled with love. From being left at the altar, to her lover being tragically killed by Nazis, to having to hide a scandalous out-of-wedlock pregnancy — Edith’s eventual relationship with Bertie Pelham (Harry Haddon-Paton) could only be seen as a well-deserved blessing, especially with him suddenly becoming the Marquess of Hexam. Unfortunately for Edith, her biggest obstacle came in the form of her older sister, Mary.
After years of tension, Mary and Edith’s rivalry came to a head when Mary – consumed by her own self-loathing over sabotaging her own relationship – revealed Edith’s secret child to Bertie. Feeling betrayed by Edith not trusting him with the truth, he broke off their engagement, leading to a long-awaited confrontation between the two sisters. Rejecting Mary’s hollow guilt, Edith brutally calls her out for being bitter and cruel. Indeed, Mary’s vindictiveness had finally crossed a line, and for a show so steeped in societal propriety, this blatant raw honesty stands out as one of the most iconic (and rewarding) moments of the entire series.
3 “Well, aren’t we the lucky ones [to have loved]?”
Isobel Crawley (Season 4, Episode 6)
If it wasn’t clear already, loss and grief are common themes explored throughout Downton. For some reason, marriages and relationships often end in tragedy with many partners unexpectedly dying. Season 3 was a testament to this, as audiences were met with the sudden loss of two fan-favorite characters: Sybil and Matthew. And where this was obviously heartbreaking, the loss felt even greater as it also meant the end of two beloved on-screen relationships.
Season 4 explores this grief on a whole other level, as audiences actually witness the characters processing their feelings. In these scenes, emotions run high, and none more so than the one in the nursery where Tom, Mary, and Isobel (Dame Penelope Wilton) reminisce over the memories of their lost loves. The moment is bittersweet, but Isobel’s poignant line beautifully frames their grief in a more positive light – one that acknowledges the blessings of experiencing such fierce and all-consuming love. Because, after all, it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
2 “When tragedies strike, we try to find someone to blame. And in the absence of a suitable candidate, we usually blame ourselves.”
Violet Crawley, The Dowager Countess of Grantham (Season 3, Episode 4)
If we’re being honest, the Dowager Countess (played by Dame Maggie Smith) could have easily filled up this entire list as she was often given the best lines. Her wit obviously knows no bounds, and it’s unsurprising to note that she balances this out with her immanent wisdom. As the all-knowing matriarch, she is the family’s north star that they all look to for support and advice, even if they don’t want to admit it.
One moment that best illustrates her wisdom occurs in the aftermath of Sybil’s death, as Cora begins to blame Robert’s actions as its cause. Noting the severe strain in their relationship, and how it is taking a toll on her son, Violet comforts Robert by offering a simple explanation of human nature: self-blame is a natural response, but it isn’t always a just one. This quote not only moves audiences by being a sweet moment between mother and son (something we rarely see in the show), but it is also a line that deeply resonates with the true hardships of loss. This has the power to impact real lives and people, all of whom are experiencing the same sort of pain.
1 “You’re a woman with a brain and reasonable ability. Stop whining and find something to do.”
Violet Crawley, The Dowager Countess of Grantham (Season 3, Episode 4)
Where we did touch on this, no Downton quote article could ever be complete without fully appreciating the greatness of Violet Crawley’s iconic quips. Often delivered as a subtle insult, this Dowager isn’t afraid to speak her truth even if it may be a bit brash. That said, sometimes her cruel honesty comes at the right time, such as when she tries to motivate her granddaughters to take control of their lives.
Edith, for instance, visits Violet and discusses her struggles with finding her true purpose. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for her, Violet responds with her classic no-nonsense pragmatic wisdom. On the surface, it’s a sharp reprimand, but beneath it all lies an encouraging message of belief. Violet recognizes Edith’s potential for success, and rather than coddling her, tough love is used to push her to rise above her circumstances. Delivered with her trademark wit, this is a line that lingers as it is both amusing and motivating. Oh, Dame Maggie Smith. What a true icon. If only we could receive a pep-talk like this every day.
