Alright, let’s jaw about them horror b movie posters, you know, the ones that make you wanna scream but also kinda make you laugh? I ain’t no fancy movie expert, but I seen my share of these things, and lemme tell ya, some are good, some are bad, and some are just plain ugly.
First off, what makes a good poster, huh? For me, it’s gotta grab your eyeballs right away. Like, that Jaws movie poster, the one with the big shark coming up from the bottom? Scared the bejesus outta folks! Simple, but it worked. They didn’t need no fancy words or nothin’, just that big ol’ shark. And that release date, June 18th, they put it right there, plain as day. That’s important, gotta know when to go get scared, right?
Now, some posters, they try too hard. You see all these explosions and monsters and whatnot, and you just get confused. Like, what’s even goin’ on here? Too many colors, too many words… it’s a mess! A good poster, it tells you just enough to get you interested, but not so much that it spoils the whole dang movie.
I remember this one movie poster, can’t recall the name now, but it had these detectives, Shepard and Powell I think they was called. They was workin’ on some spooky murder case, somethin’ about Aztecs or somethin’. The poster, it was dark and creepy, and it had these shadows and stuff, made you think somethin’ bad was gonna happen. That’s what I like, a poster that makes you feel somethin’, ya know? Not just some pretty pictures slapped together.
- Color is important. Red and black, that’s always good for horror. Makes it seem dangerous and scary.
- Big letters. Gotta be able to read the name of the movie from across the street!
- A scary monster or somethin’. People like to see what they’re gonna be scared of. But don’t show too much, leave a little to the imagination.
Then you got them posters for the real cheapie movies, the B movies, they call ’em. Some of them are so bad they’re good, ya know? Like, the monsters look like they’re made outta rubber and the acting is terrible, but that’s part of the fun. And the posters, they’re just as cheesy. But sometimes, that cheese is what makes ’em memorable.
I seen one poster, can’t for the life of me remember the name of the darn movie, but it had this woman with her head spinnin’ around. Real crazy lookin’ thing. And the colors, bright green and purple, just awful! But it stuck in my head, ya know? Made me wanna see the movie, just to see how bad it was.
Some folks say the best horror movie poster of all time is for The Exorcist. Came out in ’73, I think. Simple poster, just a creepy light comin’ outta a window. But it worked! Made everyone think about demons and evil spirits. That’s what a good poster does, it gets inside your head.
Worst ones? Oh, there’s plenty of those. The ones that are just boring, or the ones that don’t tell you nothin’ about the movie. Or the ones that are just plain ugly to look at. You see a bad poster, you just know the movie’s gonna be bad too. Ain’t always true, but most times it is.
And them posters with too much writin’ on ’em. Who’s got time to read all that? Just tell me the name of the movie, show me a scary picture, and let me be on my way. That’s all a good horror movie poster needs to do. Keep it simple, keep it scary, and keep it comin’!
So, there you have it, my thoughts on them horror b movie posters. Like I said, I ain’t no expert, but I know what I like. And I like a poster that gives me a good scare and makes me wanna go see the movie. And maybe, just maybe, it makes me laugh a little bit too. After all, what’s life without a little bit of fright and fun, eh?
