Alright, so I watched this thing called “Cellphone,” yeah, that’s the name. Don’t ask me how I found it, just stumbled upon it, you know? Like finding a lost penny on the road, but this penny ain’t worth much, let me tell ya.
What’s it all about? Well, there’s this girl, Wynne, poor thing. Her fella died, real sad. She’s all messed up in the head ’cause of it, what they call that… P…T… something, anyway, she’s messed up. And then, wouldn’t ya know it, her phone starts acting all weird. Showing her scary pictures, stuff about what’s gonna happen to her. Spooky, right?
Now, they say this movie is horror, mystery, drama, all that fancy stuff. But honestly? It ain’t that scary. I’ve seen scarier things in my chicken coop when a fox gets in. The scares in this movie? You can see ’em comin’ a mile away. Like when the rooster crows, you know it’s gonna be morning. Same thing here.
- The Story: It’s about Wynne and her spooky phone, and her trying to figure out what the heck is going on before something bad happens. Simple as that.
- The Scares: Like I said, nothin’ to write home about. They try to make it creepy, but it just ends up lookin’ silly.
- The Acting: The girl, Wynne, she’s alright I guess. Cries a lot, looks scared a lot. The rest of ’em? They’re just there, fillin’ up space mostly.
They got some actors in there, Whitney Rose Pynn and Justin Malik Jackson, and some others. Never heard of ’em before, and after watchin’ this, probably won’t hear of ’em again. The director, Luke Sommer, and the writer, Rachel Sommer, they tried, I guess. But it just didn’t click for me.
The whole thing, it just feels… empty. Like a scarecrow without the stuffing. You look at it, and it’s supposed to be scary, but it just stands there, doin’ nothin’. That’s “Cellphone” in a nutshell.
I watched it online, you can find it on them streaming things, Hulu they say, and Hoopla or somethin’. If you got nothin’ better to do, go ahead, watch it. But don’t say I didn’t warn ya. You’ll probably forget all about it by the time you finish your next cup of coffee.
So, would I recommend it? Nah, not really. There’s better stuff out there, even if you’re just lookin’ to kill some time. Go watch a good ol’ fashioned ghost story, or somethin’ with some real monsters. This “Cellphone” movie? It’s just a bunch of blurry pictures on a screen, tryin’ to be somethin’ it ain’t.
They say it’s a 2024 movie. Well, I hope they make better ones as the year goes on, ’cause this one ain’t gonna win any prizes. It’s just… there. Like a weed in the garden, you see it, you might pull it out, you might just leave it alone. Either way, it don’t make much of a difference.
And that’s all I gotta say about “Cellphone.” Don’t waste your time, unless you really, really got nothin’ else to do. And even then, maybe just go for a walk instead. You’ll get more enjoyment out of it, I guarantee ya.
Final word? Forgettable. That’s the word. Just plain forgettable.
Tags: [Cellphone movie review, Whitney Rose Pynn, Luke Sommer, Horror movie, Mystery movie, 2024 movie, Film review, Streaming movies, Hulu, Hoopla]
