You know, I heard folks talkin’ ’bout them scary movies, what they call “sov horror movies”. Sounds like a whole lotta nonsense to me, but I reckon some folks like gettin’ spooked. I seen a few in my day, back when the picture show came to town once a month. Gave me the heebie-jeebies, I tell ya!
They got all kinds of these scary things. Some got them fellas with the chainsaws and masks, runnin’ around chasin’ young folks. Makes no sense to me, why they’d be runnin’ in the first place. If a fella with a chainsaw is comin’ at ya, you best be findin’ somethin’ to defend yourself with, not runnin’ like a scared rabbit! Those movies, they call ’em “slashers,” I think. Just a bunch of blood and guts, if ya ask me. Ain’t nothin’ entertainin’ about that.
Then they got them vampire ones. Now, I ain’t never seen a real vampire, but I heard stories. They say they suck your blood, turn you into one of ’em. Sleep in coffins, don’t like the sunshine. Sounds like a miserable way to live, or not live, I guess. If I was gonna be a monster, I’d rather be a werewolf. At least you get to run around under the full moon, howl a bit. Sounds like a party.
And them zombies! Good Lord, them’s the worst. Walkin’ around all slow, moanin’ and groanin’, eatin’ brains. Nasty business, that is. Seen a movie once where a whole town got taken over by ’em. Had to shoot ’em in the head, they said. That’s the only way to stop ’em. Gave me nightmares for a week, that one did. If the dead start walkin’, I’m headin’ for the hills with my shotgun, I tell ya.
Some of these “sov horror movies” are old, real old. They call ’em “classics,” I guess. Black and white, kinda fuzzy. Don’t make ’em like they used to, that’s for sure. Nowadays, they got all them fancy special effects. Back in my day, they had to use real makeup and costumes. Sometimes it looked real, sometimes it looked like a bunch of kids playin’ dress-up. But it was still scary, I reckon.
- Slashers – lots of blood
- Vampires – suck blood, no sunshine
- Zombies – eat brains, shoot ’em in the head
- Classic horror – old and fuzzy
Now, I heard tell of this one movie, The Exorcist, they call it. ‘Bout a little girl, gets possessed by some demon or somethin’. Her head spins around, she talks in a funny voice, throws up green stuff. Sounds mighty unpleasant. I don’t know why anyone would want to watch somethin’ like that. But I reckon some folks like that kinda thing. Me, I’d rather watch a good ol’ western. At least you know who the good guys and the bad guys are in those.
Then there’s that one, The Last House on the Left. Sounds like a bad time, that one. Folks gettin’ hurt, revenge and all that. No good ever comes from that sort of thing. Best to just let bygones be bygones, I always say. Holdin’ a grudge just eats you up inside. Better to forgive and forget, even if it’s hard. But those movie folks, they never learn, do they?
These “sov horror movies” seem to be about all kinds of things. Teenagers gettin’ in trouble, scary things in the woods. I heard they got some new ones where folks just like to torture each other. It is all just some kind of sick entertainment. They call it “Grindhouse.” I don’t know what that means, but it sounds dirty.
They even got scary movies made by women folks now. Imagine that! Women makin’ movies about monsters and ghosts. World’s changin’, that’s for sure. Don’t know if it’s for the better or the worse, but it’s changin’. Maybe these women can make a scary movie that ain’t just about blood and guts. Maybe they can make one that’s about somethin’ real scary, like losin’ your crops or your cow dyin’. Now that’s real horror.
I guess some folks are looking for these “sov horror movies” that are not too gory, not too scary. They call them psychological thrillers, I think. Mess with your head instead of showin’ you all the blood and guts. Sounds even worse to me. I’d rather know what I’m dealin’ with than have some movie messin’ with my mind.
These sov horror movies, they’re a dime a dozen these days. Everywhere you look, there’s a new one comin’ out. I guess folks just can’t get enough of bein’ scared. Me, I’ve seen enough real-life scary things to last me a lifetime. Don’t need no movie to give me the creeps. I got my memories for that. And those, I can tell ya, are a whole lot scarier than anythin’ they can put on the silver screen.
