90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days newcomer Matilda Nti didn’t give the franchise the best impression, but I think Niles Valentine‘s family might be hasty to judge the 23-year-old Matilda from Ghana who reached out to Niles through social media. After a few months of talking online, 27-year-old Niles proposed. The 90 Day Fiancé franchise star was taken aback by Matilda’s open and loving attitude.
Niles, who has autism, generally struggles to connect with others and gain acceptance from the connections he makes. Yet, Matilda seemed to accept him and all his flaws despite the pair never even meeting. They joined the series to take their relationship to the next level, but Niles’ family wasn’t supportive. They’re weary of Matilda and her intentions. While I agree Matilda had a few red flags, I think she’s being unfairly judged.
’90 Day Fiancé’s Niles Lies and Avoids Tough Conversations
While Niles was pointing fingers at Matilda and claiming she was asking for “too much,” I noticed how he was the star actually abusing the situation. I understand Niles is autistic, which makes connecting and conversing with others difficult. Being autistic also forces Niles to put on masks and go along with plans he normally wouldn’t. I completely understand that relationships are different for Niles and extra empathy and understanding is needed in these moments. However, sometimes I feel like Niles uses his autism as an excuse.
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Niles knows certain conversations need to be had, like about their wedding or his finances, but he avoids them like many other stars on the series do. In this circumstance, Niles has an excuse, but he’s acting similarly to how other men have acted in the franchise. Then, to take this a step further, Niles tried to gaslight Matilda by saying they spoke about him not wanting to get married. Meanwhile, at the beginning of his appearance, he admits to not telling Matilda the whole truth about his desire to postpone the wedding. While Matilda might have some red flags, I think Niles might have even more.
‘Before the 90 Days’ Matilda Has Shown Growth and Emotional Maturity
Throughout the season, Matilda has had a few outbursts, but her actions mostly derived from Niles dishonesty. While this isn’t an excuse and shouldn’t condone her behavior, I could understand why Matilda felt “disgraced” after learning she wasn’t getting married as planned or that Niles couldn’t support her financially. More often than not, her outbursts were more reactions to Niles’ disrespect and not a true reflection of how she was when their relationship was going well.
Additionally, based on Niles’ description of her in the beginning, I would’ve expected much more explosive reactions. However, Matilda has shown a lot of restraint and emotional maturity, especially compared to past 90 Day Fiancé franchise stars. Niles can explain his behavior aside as “masking” and navigating his autism, but truthfully, he’s lying and not communicating effectively. Yet, Matilda has still shown him grace and understanding as they’ve nurtured their blossoming relationship.
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In the end, I understand Niles’ family’s hesitancy. Niles is experiencing a lot of elements outside his norm. He’s also probably overwhelmed with emotions, both negative and positive. Mix in his autism and his struggles to pick up on social cues, and this 90 Day Fiancé situation is certainly a recipe for disaster. However, neither party has been completely innocent thus far, and I think Niles needs to trust his instincts a little more. He might be rushing into marriage, but out of all the 90 Day Fiancé couples to appear on the series, I think this one has one of the best odds. 90 Day Fiancé and its spin-offs series air on TLC, and are available to stream on Max in the U.S.
90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days
Couples who have met online but never in person take a leap of faith, traveling across the globe to see if their digital romance can survive real-world challenges. As they navigate cultural differences, family pressures, and communication hurdles, the stakes rise, with marriage potentially just around the corner.
- Release Date
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August 6, 2017
- Cast
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Angela Deem
, Gino Palazzolo
, Karine Martins
, Stephanie Matto
, Lisa Hamme
, Paul Staehle
, Jesse Meester
, Hamza Moknii
, Mike Berk
, Tom Brooks
, Darcey Silver
, Usuman Umar
, Avery Warner
, Michael Ilesanmi
, Ed Brown
, Jasmine Pineda
, Ximena Morales
, Memphis Smith - Main Genre
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Reality
- Seasons
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6
- Network
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TLC
- Directors
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Brian Spoor
- Showrunner
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Matt Sharp
Watch on Max
