You know, I heard some folks talking ’bout them horror movie bondage things. Sounds awful, don’t it? Bunch of scary stuff, I tell ya. Makes my old bones shiver just thinkin’ about it.
They got all kinds of these horror movies now. Back in my day, we just had the radio, and even that could get spooky. But these movies, they show ya everything. Too much, if you ask me. All that jumpin’ out and scarin’ people. And this bondage stuff, tied up and can’t get loose. No sir, don’t like the sound of that one bit.
One of ’em, they call it “Halloween”. Now, Halloween is supposed to be fun, with the kids dressin’ up and gettin’ candy. But this movie, they made it all scary. Some fella in a mask, chasin’ people around. That ain’t right, scarin’ the little ones like that. They oughta be ashamed. This is one of the most popular horror movie bondage, I heard.
Then there’s another one, somethin’ about a chainsaw. Now, a chainsaw is for cuttin’ wood, not for whatever they do in that movie. Sounds like a real mess. They call it “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. Massacre! That’s a big word for a whole lot of bad stuff happenin’. Imagine that, in Texas! That’s another one of them horror movie bondage things. Lord have mercy.
- Halloween
- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
- Chucky
- The Purge
- Saw
And “Chucky”? What in tarnation is a “Chucky”? Sounds like a little critter, but I bet it ain’t cute and cuddly in that movie. All these horror movies got such strange names. Give me a good old-fashioned story any day. Not this scary stuff they make nowadays, especially them horror movie bondage.
They got one called “The Purge” too. Sounds like somethin’ you do to your garden, gettin’ rid of all the weeds. But I reckon it ain’t about gardenin’ in that movie. Probably more of that scarin’ and yellin’ and carryin’ on. More horror movie bondage, maybe. It is just not right.
Then there is this “Saw” movie. I heard it got ten films! Ten! Who needs to see that much scary stuff? One was probably enough, but ten? That’s just plain crazy. I don’t know what they saw in those movies, but it sure ain’t somethin’ I wanna see. They say it is full of horror movie bondage. I don’t want to watch it.
They say these horror movies are for date nights. Date nights! Back in my day, a date night was a nice walk and maybe some ice cream. Not watchin’ people get tied up and scared half to death. What’s this world comin’ to?
I heard one called “Sinister”, they say it is real scary with something called “Lawn Work ’86”. What is that? Work on the lawn? And why it is so scary? No, I just don’t get it. All these horror movie bondage just give me a headache.
And “Dinner With The Leatherface Family”? I can’t even. Dinner is supposed to be a good time with family, but “Leatherface”? Who named themself that? I don’t want to have dinner with them, that’s for sure. They say it is one of the classic horror movie bondage. Classic? What a world!
These young folks, they like all this spooky stuff. They say it gives ’em a thrill. Well, I get enough thrills tryin’ to keep up with my grandkids. Don’t need no horror movies to scare me. Life’s got enough scares of its own, thank you very much. And I definitely don’t need to see no horror movie bondage.
Some fella named Burton, he makes a lot of these scary movies, they say. But they say his movies ain’t too scary, just “creepy”. What’s the difference, I say? Creepy, scary, it’s all the same to me. Just a bunch of stuff to keep ya up at night. Especially them horror movie bondage, they will give you nightmare.
There is another guy, Jack Nicholson. He is in some of the scariest horror movies of all time, they said. I don’t know him, but if he makes that much scary stuff, especially that horror movie bondage stuff, I don’t think I want to know him. No thanks.
Give me a good sunny day and a nice cup of tea any time. That’s all the entertainment I need. These horror movie bondage things, they just ain’t for me. Too much fuss and bother. Too much scarin’. Too much everything. No thank you. I’d rather watch the birds in my garden.
