Okay, so I saw this fun little thing online – “How would you die in a horror movie?” – and I thought, why not actually try to figure it out? Not, like, actually die, obviously, but you know, get into the spirit of things.
The Setup
First, I needed a scenario. I’m a pretty practical person, so I figured my horror movie death would probably be something dumb. I’m not the final girl, for sure. I’m more like the “guy who investigates a weird noise” or the “friend who trips while running away.”
The Experiment (Sort Of)
- Phase 1: The Noise Investigation. I waited until it was dark, turned off all the lights, and put on some creepy ambient music. Then, I pretended to hear something in the basement. (My basement is unfinished and pretty spooky on its own, so that helped.)
- Phase 2: The Slow Descent. I grabbed a flashlight – a crappy one, of course, because horror movie logic – and started creeping down the stairs. I made sure to take it really slow, one creaky step at a time. And I kept muttering to myself, things like “Hello?” and “Is anyone there?” Classic stuff.
- Phase 3: The Jump Scare. My cat, bless her heart, decided this was the perfect moment to rub against my legs. I jumped a mile, nearly dropped the flashlight, and yelped. Okay, so maybe I am a little jumpy.
- Phase 4: The Trip and Fall. I continued, and I find the “scary thing”, then I had to make a run for it. I took off back up the stairs, purposely stumbling on the third step from the top. I landed pretty hard on my knee. I am sure I will die because of this stupid fall.
The Conclusion
My horror movie death? 100% tripping over something stupid, probably while running away from a slow-moving monster or a creepy doll. Or falling down the stairs and breaking my neck. My key takeaway is that, I am very clumsy. So, I guess I am the “friend who trips while running away”. I’m that guy. And I’ve made peace with it. At least my death would be good for a laugh, right?
