Alright, so y’all wanna hear ’bout this Banana Splits movie, huh? I watched it, and let me tell ya, it was somethin’ else. Not like them sweet cartoons I used to watch with the grandkids, no sir.
First off, this ain’t no kids’ show. They call it a “slasher,” which means, well, it means there’s a whole lotta killin’. And not the clean kind, neither. It’s messy, real messy. Gore, they call it. Like, blood and guts and all that. I ain’t never seen so much red stuff in all my born days.
The story starts with this little feller, Harley, it’s his birthday. His ma and step-pa, they take him to see the Banana Splits show. You know, the one with them big furry fellers singin’ and dancin’. But somethin’ ain’t right with them Splits this time. They ain’t jolly no more. They got this creepy look in their eyes, you know? Like somethin’s snapped.
- They got this one feller, the director, Danishka somethin’-or-other. She made it real spooky, this movie. Like, you feel somethin’ bad’s gonna happen, even when everythin’ looks normal. That’s what they call “atmosphere,” I reckon.
And the killin’ starts. It ain’t just one or two folks, neither. It’s like a whole bunch of ’em gettin’ it. And the Splits, they’re the ones doin’ it. Imagine that! Them happy-go-lucky fellers from TV, turnin’ into murder machines. It’s enough to make your hair stand on end, I tell ya.
Now, they say this movie’s like “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for grown-ups.” I ain’t never seen that Chocolate Factory movie, but I reckon it means it’s kinda crazy and wild. And this Banana Splits movie, it sure is that. It’s like a rollercoaster, takin’ you up and down and spinnin’ you around till you don’t know which way is up.
There’s this woman in the movie, I think she’s the ma. She’s tryin’ to keep herself and her boy safe. She goes through a whole heap of trouble, that one. And she ain’t no wimp, neither. She fights back, she does. But them Splits, they’re tough. And in the end, after everythin’, she goes a bit bonkers herself, puttin’ on one of them costumes and doin’ some killin’ of her own. That was a bit much, if you ask me.
They released this movie back in 2019, they did. Premiered it at some fancy Comic-Con thing. And then they put it on that “video on demand,” whatever that is. I reckon it means you can watch it on your TV whenever you want. Which is good, I guess, if you like watchin’ blood and guts.
This movie, it got an “R” rating. That means it ain’t for kids. And believe me, it ain’t. It’s too scary, too violent. You don’t want your young’uns seein’ this stuff. They’d have nightmares for weeks, I betcha.
- They say it’s the first time a Hanna-Barbera show got turned into somethin’ this scary. Them Hanna-Barbera folks, they made cartoons, happy cartoons. This ain’t no happy cartoon. It’s a horror movie, plain and simple.
Overall, I’d say this Banana Splits movie is… well, it’s somethin’. It’s entertainin’, in a twisted kinda way. It’s gory, for sure. And them killer Splits, you ain’t gonna forget ‘em anytime soon. They’re creepy as all get-out. If you like scary movies, and you ain’t got a weak stomach, then you might like this one. But if you’re lookin’ for somethin’ sweet and innocent, well, you better look elsewhere, ’cause this ain’t it.
Oh, and that kid, Harley, it was all for his birthday, you know. A birthday present gone wrong, real wrong. Makes you think twice about them birthday parties, don’t it?
Tags: [Banana Splits, Movie Review, Horror, Slasher, Gore, Danishka Esterhazy, Hanna-Barbera, R-rated]
