Alright, so ya wanna know about this “Five Nights at Freddy’s” movie, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, it ain’t no sunshine and rainbows flick, that’s for sure. It’s got all sorts of scary stuff going on, the kind that makes your stomach churn.
First off, they got these creepy animatronic critters, like big ol’ stuffed animals gone wild. They ain’t cute and cuddly, no sir. They got sharp teeth and they ain’t afraid to use ’em. My grandkid, little Timmy, he wouldn’t sleep for a week after hearin’ about it.
Now, they say this movie is based on some kinda video game. Never played them games myself, too busy tendin’ to the chickens and whatnot. But from what I hear, the game’s just as spooky. These young’uns, they like that kinda stuff, I guess. Gives ’em a thrill, makes ’em feel alive. Me? I prefer a good ol’ hymn singin’ any day.
This movie, though, it’s got some real dark stuff in it. They talk about kids gettin’ snatched up, and that ain’t right. Makes a body sick to think about it. Any movie that deals with hurtin’ young’uns, well, it just ain’t right in my book. The good Lord above, he wouldn’t stand for that kind of thing.
- They say the man who made this whole thing, this “Freddy’s” stuff, he’s a Christian fella. Well, I don’t know about that. Seems kinda strange to me, a God-fearin’ man makin’ somethin’ this scary. But then again, the Lord works in mysterious ways, don’t He? Maybe there’s a message in there somewhere, a lesson to be learned. I just ain’t figured it out yet.
- And the violence, oh my! They say there’s blood and fightin’ and all sorts of nasty business. One fella gettin’ chopped up by a saw, can you imagine? Another one gettin’ bit clean in half! That ain’t for the faint of heart, let me tell ya. Makes me wanna clutch my rosary and pray for protection.
Some folks, they say it’s okay for older kids, you know, teenagers and such. But them folks at “Common Sense Media,” they say wait till they’re at least 14. Even then, I’d be careful. Kids these days, they see too much violence already. They need more love and kindness, not this scary monster stuff.
Now, I heard tell that this fella who made the game, he used to make Christian games. Games about Noah’s Ark and such. That’s more like it, I say. Good, clean fun, teachin’ the young’uns about the Bible. But then he switched to this “Freddy’s” thing. Maybe he thought he could reach more people that way, I don’t know. But it sure seems like a far cry from the good Lord’s word.
They give this movie a PG-13 rating, which means it ain’t for the little ones. And that’s a good thing. This movie got “strong violent content,” “bloody images,” and “language.” That ain’t stuff you want your young’uns hearin’ or seein’. It can mess with their heads, give ’em nightmares. And who needs that?
So, if you askin’ me, this “Five Nights at Freddy’s” movie, it ain’t for the faint of heart. It’s dark, it’s scary, and it deals with some heavy stuff. If you’re lookin’ for somethin’ wholesome and uplifting, this ain’t it. But if you like a good scare, well, maybe it’s right up your alley. Just don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
Anyways, I reckon that’s all I gotta say about this here movie. It ain’t my cup of tea, that’s for sure. I’d rather watch a good old fashioned Western any day. At least then you know who the good guys and the bad guys are. With this “Freddy’s” stuff, it’s all just a bit too spooky for me. I’m gonna go say my prayers now, ask the good Lord to keep them animatronic critters far away from my henhouse.
Tags: [Five Nights at Freddy’s, Freddy, Movie Review, Christian Review, Horror Movie, PG-13, Violence, Animatronics, Video Game Adaptation, Scott Cawthon]
