Alright, let’s yak about this Netflix Bond thing, or whatever they call it. You know, that spy fella, always shootin’ and smoochin’. Used to watch them old movies on that big box TV, the one with the rabbit ears, remember? But now, seems like you can’t find ’em on that Netflix thing.
My grandkid, the one with the fancy phone, told me it’s ’cause Netflix ain’t got no deal with them Bond movie makers. Some fancy name, starts with an E, Eon somethin’ somethin’. Sounds like a bunch of hogwash to me. Why can’t they just put the movies on there for us plain folks? It ain’t rocket science, is it?
They keep makin’ new Bonds too. This last fella, Daniel Craig, I think his name was. Tough lookin’ fella, not as smooth as that Sean Connery fellow, but he could throw a punch alright. They say he ain’t doin’ it no more. Too old, they say. Heck, I’m older than him and I can still chase a chicken out of the garden. Saw one fella on TV sayin’ he was too ancient. Imagine, a whole grown man callin’ himself too ancient for a movie!
Now they’re talkin’ about this Idris Elbow fella. Heard he’s a good actor, but I don’t know. He don’t look like no James Bond I ever seen. Bond’s gotta be, you know, charming. Like he could sweet talk the birds out of the trees, even while he’s shootin’ at bad guys.
- No Bond on Netflix: It’s all about deals and money, they say. Eon Productions, they got the rights. Netflix gotta pay ’em to show the movies. Simple as that.
- New Bond, Who Dis?: Daniel Craig’s done bein’ Bond. They’re lookin’ for a new guy. Lots of names gettin’ thrown around, Idris Elbow bein’ one of ’em.
- Old Bonds, Good Bonds: Them older movies, with Sean Connery and Roger Moore, them were the days. Real spy movies, not all this CGI stuff they do now.
They made a new Bond movie, the last one with Daniel Craig. “No Time To Die,” they called it. Somethin’ about savin’ a scientist and fightin’ bad guys. Sounded like every other Bond movie to me. Always some fella in trouble and Bond gotta go save him. And then there’s always a pretty gal too.
Heard tell that in this new movie, Bond wasn’t a spy no more, was livin’ a quiet life. But then, whaddya know, his old pal from the CIA comes knockin’, needs a favor. Seems like trouble always finds them spy fellas. Can’t ever just sit and relax, I guess. Always got to be jumpin’ out of airplanes or blowin’ somethin’ up.
My grandkid showed me some kinda trailer for this “No Time To Die” on that phone of his. Looked mighty fancy, all kinds of explosions and chases. Cars flippin’, buildin’s comin’ down. They showed Bond in a suit, Bond in a tux, Bond in a t-shirt. He sure changed clothes a lot for a fella on the run. But it all looked a bit too much for me, you know? Like they was tryin’ too hard. Sometimes a good old-fashioned fist fight is all you need.
Heard they even showed a trailer durin’ that big football game, the Super Bowl. Spent a whole lot of money for just a few seconds of that movie, they say. Seems kinda wasteful to me. That money coulda bought a whole lotta feed for my chickens.
So, back to this Netflix Bond problem. If you want to watch James Bond, gotta look somewhere else, not on Netflix. Gotta get one of them DVDs or maybe pay extra to watch it on some other channel. It’s all a big ol’ mess if you ask me. They make it too complicated for regular folks to just sit down and watch a good movie. Back in my day, things were simpler. You turned on the TV and there it was. Now you gotta have all these different subscriptions and deals and passwords. It’s enough to make your head spin. Just wanna watch James Bond, that’s all. Is that too much to ask?
Anyways, that’s what I know about this Netflix Bond situation. Probably missed some things, but that’s the gist of it. Just a whole lotta fuss over a spy fella, if you ask me.
