Well, well, well, look at all these new found footage horror movies in 2023! Back in my day, we just had a good scare around the campfire. Now, you young’uns got all these fancy movies.
Let me tell you, I seen a few of these things, and some of them, they’re alright. They got the jump scares and the spooky noises. But some, they just ain’t scary! Just a bunch of kids runnin’ around with cameras, yellin’ and screamin’.
This one here, Blue Whale, what’s it about? A girl, Dana, she’s sad ’cause her little sister, she ain’t around no more. Sounds sad, don’t it? Maybe that’s what makes it scary, the sadness.
And then there’s The Medium, from 2021. Heard some folks talkin’ ’bout that one. Said it was pretty creepy. Somethin’ about the high desert. Don’t know much about deserts, we got cornfields here, not deserts.
- Blue Whale
- The Medium (2021)
- Horror in the High Desert 1 & 2 (2021)
Now, this Knock at the Cabin, that one sounds interestin’. Some fella named M. Night Shyamalan, he made that one. Heard he makes some twisty-turny movies. Keeps you guessin’, like a good riddle.
They say there’s a new one, McCurdy Point. Found footage, they call it. Like you’re watchin’ somethin’ you shouldn’t be watchin’. Like peekin’ through a keyhole. I don’t know, sounds a bit sneaky to me.
The problem is, some of these new ones, you can’t even watch ’em! They ain’t on the TV, ain’t at the picture show. Gotta have some special thingamajig, I reckon. Too complicated for me. I’ll stick with my stories, thank you very much.
But I heard folks talkin’ ’bout a whole bunch of scary movies. Let’s see if I can remember them all. It’s hard to keep all these names straight.
- The Witching Hour
- The Haunting of Hill House
- The Conjuring 3
- It: Chapter 3
- The Grudge
- The Invisible Man
- The Curse of La Llorona
- Doctor Sleep
- Annabelle Comes Home
- The Curse of the Werewolf
There was one about a Witching Hour, sounds spooky, right? Like when the ghosts come out to play. And The Haunting of Hill House. Now, that sounds like a place you wouldn’t want to spend the night. Big old house, probably full of creaky doors and things that go bump in the night.
And then there’s somethin’ called The Conjuring 3. I reckon that’s the third one. Must be a popular story to keep tellin’ it. Probably got demons and devils and all sorts of things you don’t want to mess with.
It: Chapter 3. Now what’s “It”? A monster? A clown? I don’t like clowns. They’re always smilin’, but you don’t know what they’re thinkin’. Creepy.
The Grudge. That’s a funny word. Sounds like somethin’ you hold against someone. Like when ol’ Bessie didn’t return my pie plate. Still hold a grudge about that.
And The Invisible Man. How can you be scared of somethin’ you can’t see? Seems silly. But I guess that’s the point, ain’t it? The not knowin’ what’s there.
The Curse of La Llorona. Now that’s a mouthful. Sounds foreign. Probably some old legend about a ghost lady. They always got ghost ladies in these stories.
Doctor Sleep. Sounds like somethin’ you’d want after a long day of workin’ in the field. But I bet it ain’t about sleepin’ at all. Probably more nightmares.
Annabelle Comes Home. Who’s Annabelle? And why is she comin’ home? Is she bringin’ trouble with her? Probably. These movies are always about trouble.
And then there’s The Curse of the Werewolf. Now that’s an oldie but a goodie. Full moon comes out, and some poor fella turns into a hairy beast. Howlin’ at the moon. Makes you glad to be inside with the doors locked.
Oh, and I almost forgot! Saw a poster for somethin’ called UNKNOWN VISITOR. Said it all takes place in a door cam. Like them little cameras people put on their doors now. See who’s knockin’ before you open up. Guess that’s one way to keep the monsters out. Or maybe it just lets you see them comin’.
Well, that’s all the new found footage horror movies and other scary movies I can think of right now. Enough to give you goosebumps, I reckon. Just remember, it’s all just stories. Ain’t nothin’ gonna get you under the covers. Unless it’s a big ol’ spider. Those things are real, and they’re creepy!
