Alright, alright, settle down now, you young’uns. You wanna know about them scary movies, the ones you watch when you’re… uh… feeling a little loopy? I’ve heard tell of such things. My old bones don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that, but I’ve seen enough scary things in my life, real and on that there flicker box, to tell ya a thing or two.
So, you want the best horror movies to watch stoned, huh? Well, I reckon it depends on what kinda scared you’re lookin’ for. Some folks like the jumpy kind, the ones that make you spill your… uh… tea. Others like the creepy kind, the ones that get under your skin and make you think. And then there’s them funny-scary ones, the ones where you’re laughin’ one minute and jumpin’ the next. We got all kinds, just like chickens in a coop – some are loud, some are sneaky, and some are just plain crazy.
Let’s start with the classics, the ones that been around longer than your grandma’s teeth. You got this movie called Rosemary’s Baby. Now, that one ain’t about no cute little baby, let me tell ya. It’s about somethin’… dark. Something’s growing inside that woman, and it ain’t right. It’s old, like real old-timey movin’ picture stuff. Black and white, kinda grainy, but let me tell you, it’ll give you the willies. They say it came out way back in the 1960s, imagine that!
Then there’s The Shining. Now, this one’s about a fella and his family, stuck in a big ol’ empty hotel way up in the mountains. Snow everywhere, nobody around. And that hotel… it ain’t right either. Hallways that go on forever, creepy twins, and a fella with an axe who just ain’t himself. It’s about going crazy, see? Being all alone with your thoughts and… well, other things. Makes you think twice about takin’ a winter vacation, that’s for sure.
Okay, okay, so maybe you want something a little… wilder? Something that’ll really mess with your head? Then you gotta watch Mandy. Now, this one’s a whole different beast. It’s like a bad dream, all colors and noise and… blood. It’s got a fella who’s gotta go rescue his gal, but the folks he’s up against… they ain’t human, not really. It’s hard to explain, but trust me, it’s somethin’ else. Makes you feel like you’re… uh… floatin’ down a river made of bad dreams.
Now, if you’re lookin’ for a laugh with your scares, then you gotta check out them horror comedies. There’s a bunch of ‘em on that Netflix thing, your grandkids always watchin’ it. They got one called Tucker and Dale vs Evil. Now, this one’s about a couple of good ol’ boys who just wanna fix up their cabin in the woods, but everyone thinks they’re crazy killers. It’s bloody, it’s funny, and it’s got a whole lotta misunderstandings. Then you got Creep, that one is two movies in one, about a guy who hires a cameraman for the day and things get real weird. It plays with your mind and makes you laugh while being scared. And there’s a whole bunch more. Little Evil, where a fella finds out his stepson might be the antichrist. Cult of Chucky, about that creepy doll, that one gives me the shivers just thinkin’ about it. The Babysitter, with a babysitter who ain’t who she seems. The Voices, about a fella who hears voices from his pets, now that one’s just plain strange. Beyond the Gates, where brothers play a mysterious board game for their missing father. Tusk, a movie about a man who is obsessed with walruses, yep walruses. Stitches, about a killer clown, nobody likes clowns anyhow. And Murder Party, sounds bad don’t it, well it is, some city slickers find a invite to a Halloween party and wouldn’t you know it, it was a trap by some crazy artist! All sorts of craziness, enough to keep you laughin’ and jumpin’ all night long.
So there you have it, a few ideas for your… movie night. Whether you want classic scares, mind-bending weirdness, or a good laugh with your frights, there’s somethin’ out there for everyone. Just remember, lock your doors, turn down the lights, and don’t blame me if you can’t sleep afterwards. And for goodness sake, don’t go wanderin’ around in the dark. You never know what’s lurkin’ out there… or in here taps head. And if’n you see a scary clown or a creepy doll, you just run the other way, y’hear?
- Watch classic horror like Rosemary’s Baby and The Shining.
- Experience a visually intense fever dream with Mandy.
- Laugh and scream with horror comedies like Tucker and Dale vs Evil or Creep 1&2.
- Explore Netflix for a variety of horror comedies, including Little Evil, Cult of Chucky, and The Babysitter.
Tags: [Horror Movies, Stoner Movies, Cult Classics, Horror Comedy, Netflix Horror, Scary Movies, Movie Recommendations, Mandy, The Shining, Rosemary’s Baby, Tucker and Dale vs Evil]
