Well, let me tell ya, them young folks these days, they sure do like them scary movies. And wouldn’t you know it, they got these things called “horror movie subscription boxes” now. I ain’t never seen nothin’ like it! Sounds like somethin’ outta the city, if you ask me.
What in the tarnation is a horror movie subscription box?
Near as I can figure, it’s a box they send you in the mail, like them catalogs, but ‘stead of clothes or pots and pans, it’s full of scary movie stuff. DVDs, Blu-rays, whatever them things are. And maybe some other spooky things, like little toys or posters, you know, the kind with monsters and such. They say it’s a surprise every month, what you gonna get. Lands sakes, that’d give me the heebie-jeebies just waitin’ for it!
Why would anyone want a box of scary stuff?
I reckon it’s like them folks who like ridin’ them rollercoasters. They like bein’ scared, but in a fun way, I guess. Makes no sense to me, but to each their own, I always say. Maybe they get a kick outta watchin’ them spooky movies with their friends, hootin’ and hollerin’ and jumpin’ outta their seats. Or maybe they just like collectin’ all them creepy things. Heck, some folks collect stamps, some folks collect dolls, guess some folks collect horror movies.
- What kind of movies do they put in these boxes?
- Where do you get these boxes?
- Are these boxes any good?
From what I hear, it could be just about anythin’. Old movies, new movies, them slasher films where folks get chased around with knives, or them ghost stories that make your hair stand on end. I heard tell of some movies called Drag me to hell and Don’t breathe. Sound awful, don’t they? And some others with funny names like Babadook and It Follows. They even got some with numbers in the name, like Room 2019 and Texas Chainsaw 3D. My goodness, what will they think of next?
I reckon you gotta order ’em online, on that there internet thingy. Or maybe they got ads in them magazines the young folks read. I wouldn’t know nothin’ about that. Probably gotta pay every month, like you do for the cable TV. But I bet it ain’t cheap. Nothin’ is these days, seems like.
Well, that depends on what you’re lookin’ for, I suppose. If you like them scary movies, and you like gettin’ surprises, then maybe you’d like it. But if you’re like me, and you prefer a good ol’ western or a nice musical, then you’d best steer clear. I heard some boxes are better than others, though. Some send you good quality movies, and some send you junk. Just like anythin’ else, I guess. One movie they say is real scary is called The Possession. About some box with a mean spirit in it. See? Even the movies are about scary boxes!
Is it worth the money?
That’s the million dollar question, ain’t it? I reckon it depends on how much money you got to spare, and how much you like them scary movies. Me? I’d rather spend my money on a good meal and a warm blanket. But like I said, to each their own. If it makes them young folks happy, then I guess it ain’t hurtin’ nobody. They get like four of them movies a month on them Blu-ray things. More movies than I seen in my whole life I reckon.
Final thoughts
So, there you have it. Everything I know about them horror movie subscription boxes. Which ain’t much, I admit. But I done my best to tell you what I heard. If you’re thinkin’ about gettin’ one, well, you go right ahead. Just don’t come cryin’ to me if you get too scared to sleep at night! And for goodness sake, keep them spooky boxes away from me! I’ll stick to my stories on the radio thank you very much.
Tags：[horror movies, subscription box, blu-ray, dvd, scary, movies, entertainment, monthly, films, collection]
