Alright, listen up, you whippersnappers! Let’s talk about them scary movies, the ones with all the jumpin’ and screamin’. You ever watch one and think, “Could I make it outta that mess?” Well, I got somethin’ for ya. We gonna figure out if you’d be the last one standin’ or the first one gone, see? This ain’t no fancy test, just plain talk, like I always do.
So, first thing’s first, you hear a creepy noise, whatcha do? You go runnin’ headfirst into the dark like a fool? Or you grab the nearest heavy thing and hide behind the door, smart-like? See, that’s the difference between livin’ and dyin’ in them movies. You gotta be thinkin’, always thinkin’.
- Thinkin’ Question Number 1: You’re all alone in a spooky old house, lights flicker, and then… BAM! A door slams shut upstairs. Whatcha doin’?
- (A) Run upstairs like a chicken with its head cut off.
- (B) Grab a poker from the fireplace and slowly check it out.
- (C) Hide under the bed and cry.
Now, if you picked (A), honey, you’re a goner. Movies love folks like you, easy pickings. (C) ain’t much better, hidin’ only delays the inevitable. But (B), yeah, you got a chance. Slow and steady wins the race, even when the race is against some crazy killer or a monster.
Let’s try another one. Say you see somethin’ real nasty, somethin’ that ain’t natural. A ghost, a zombie, whatever they call ’em these days. Do you stand there gawkin’ like a fish? Or do you run like the devil’s chasin’ you? And where do you run? You gotta have a plan, see? No plan, no survival. That’s the golden rule, always has been.
- Thinkin’ Question Number 2: You see a shadowy figure lurking in the woods. It’s definitely not friendly. What’s your move?
- (A) Try to talk to it. Maybe it just wants directions?
- (B) Scream real loud and hope someone hears ya.
- (C) Run for the nearest place with lots of people, zig-zagging if you gotta.
Talkin’ to it? (A)? Are you outta your mind? These ain’t your neighbors, they don’t want chit-chat! Screamin’ ain’t bad, but it only works if someone’s around to hear ya. (B)? Nah. The best bet is (C). Get movin’, get to safety, and don’t look back, that’s what I say. And remember to zig-zag; it makes you a harder target, like tryin’ to catch a fly with one hand.
Now, let’s say you get separated from your friends. Happens all the time in them movies. Dumb kids, always wanderin’ off. You gonna panic? Gonna sit down and cry? No, sir! You gotta keep your wits about ya. Find a weapon, find a safe place, and figure out how to get back to the others, or how to get outta there altogether.
- Thinkin’ Question Number 3: You’re lost in a creepy old forest and it’s gettin’ dark. You’re separated from your friends. Now what?
- (A) Keep yellin’ for your friends until they find you.
- (B) Find a sturdy stick or a rock and start looking for a place to hide till daylight.
- (C) Follow the nearest trail, even if you don’t know where it goes.
Yellin’ (A)? That’s just gonna tell the bad guys where you are. Followin’ a trail blindly (C)? Could lead you right into more trouble. Best thing to do is find a way to protect yourself and a safe place to hide till the sun comes up (B). Then you can figure things out. Daylight’s your friend in these situations, always remember that.
Okay, one last thing. You ever notice how folks in movies do the dumbest things? Like, they hear a noise and they go, “Who’s there?” Like the killer’s gonna answer, “Oh, it’s just me, Bob, the friendly neighborhood murderer!” Don’t be that person! If you hear a noise, assume it’s somethin’ bad and act accordingly. Silence is golden, and runnin’ is silver. Those are your best friends in a horror movie.
- Thinkin’ Question Number 4: You hear a noise coming from the basement. What’s your next action?
- (A) Go down to the basement and check it out, armed with a flashlight and a prayer.
- (B) Grab a weapon, barricade the door, and call for help if you can.
- (C) Pretend you didn’t hear anything and hope it goes away.
Checking it out (A)? Nope, that’s how you get yourself killed. Ignoring it (C)? Might work for a little while, but it ain’t a long-term solution. The best thing to do is secure your position (B) and prepare for the worst. Call for help if you can, but don’t count on it. You gotta be your own hero in these situations. Remember, it’s all just pretend. But even pretend can teach you a thing or two about stayin’ alive. And that, my friends, is more important than anythin’.
So, there you have it. My little quiz on whether you’d survive a horror flick. Think about these things, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll live to see the end credits.
Tags: [Horror Movie Quiz, Survival Quiz, Scary Movies, Movie Tips, Safety Tips, Horror Film, Quiz, Test, Horror Fan, How to survive ]
