Alright, listen up, y’all. You wanna make one of them scary movies, the kind that make folks jump outta their seats? And you wanna live to tell the tale? Well, it ain’t as easy as pie, let me tell ya. It’s like wranglin’ a greased pig in the dark.
First off, you gotta have a story, somethin’ that’ll stick in folks’ craw. Not just any ol’ story, mind you. It gotta be creepy, somethin’ that’ll make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Think about them old ghost stories grandma used to tell, the ones that kept you up at night, scared to even peek under the bed. You want that kinda feelin’, but, you know, bigger, like on the big screen.
- Got your story? Good. Now you need some folks, actors, they call ’em.
- Find some pretty faces, sure, but they gotta be able to scream real good, like they just seen the devil himself.
- And don’t go spendin’ all your money on fancy-pants actors. Save some for the good stuff, the blood and guts!
Next up, the scary stuff. Now, I ain’t talkin’ about jumpin’ out from behind a bush and yellin’ “Boo!”. That ain’t scary, that’s just plain rude. You gotta build it up, see? Like a slow simmer, not a boilin’ pot. Creepy music, that helps a lot. The kind that makes your skin crawl, like somethin’ ain’t right. And shadows, lots of shadows. Things hidin’ in the dark, that’s what gets folks.
And the monster, oh honey, you gotta have a good monster. It don’t always gotta be some big, hairy beast. Sometimes the scariest monsters are the ones that look just like you and me. But whatever you choose, make it memorable. Give it somethin’ special, a weird tic, a creepy voice, somethin’ that folks will remember long after they leave the theater. Don’t make it cheap though, bad monsters will ruin your whole movie, like a rotten apple in a pie.
Blood and guts, yeah, you need some of that too. But don’t go overboard. A little goes a long way. Too much and it just looks silly, like a butcher shop exploded. You want it to be realistic, you know? Or as realistic as you can get with, you know, fake blood and all.
Now, here’s the survivin’ part. Makin’ a horror movie ain’t for the faint of heart. It’s long hours, lots of stress, and sometimes, things go wrong. Real wrong. You gotta be tough, gotta be able to roll with the punches. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. You got a crew, use ’em. They’re there to help you make your movie, not just stand around and look pretty.
And when it’s all said and done, and your movie’s in the can, don’t expect everyone to love it. Some folks, they just don’t like scary movies. That’s their problem, not yours. You made your movie, you told your story, and that’s all that matters. And for goodness sake, don’t go makin’ no snuff films, that’s just plain wrong and nobody wants to see that, no sir.
One last thing. Don’t go messin’ with nothin’ you don’t understand. You hear stories about cursed movies, movies that bring bad luck. Maybe it’s just old wives’ tales, maybe it ain’t. But better safe than sorry, I always say. Just stick to the script, keep it professional, and you’ll be alright. Making scary movies is hard work, but it can also be a lot of fun. Just remember to keep your head on straight, your feet on the ground, and your eyes peeled for anythin’ that goes bump in the night.
And most importantly, don’t forget to have fun. If you ain’t havin’ fun, what’s the point? Moviemakin’ should be excitin’, it should be somethin’ you love. So go out there, make your movie, scare the pants off folks, and live to tell the tale. You can do it. I believe in ya, even if you are a little wet behind the ears.
Just try not to make a movie about a curse, nobody needs that kind of bad luck followin’ them around, now do they? And definitely, definitely, don’t go filming in an old creepy house. That’s just askin’ for trouble. You stick to a soundstage, nice and safe, where you can control everything. That’s the ticket to survivin’ a horror movie production.
Tags: [horror movie, filmmaking, survive, scary, monster, blood, special effects, movie production, behind the scenes, tips]
