Well, howdy there! Let me tell ya, these darned horror movie rubber ducks, they ain’t your grandma’s bath toys, no sirree. These things, they’re somethin’ else. You got all sorts of spooky characters, like that Dracula fella and that creepy Chucky doll, all turned into ducks. Can ya believe it? Ducks!
I saw ’em at the store the other day, sittin’ there in their little bathtub thingies. They had this “Horror” logo on ’em, all drippy and scary lookin’. And they call themselves “TUBBZ”. Sounds like somethin’ my old washing machine used to do when it was on its last legs.
They say they’re “officially licensed” and “collectible,” like them fancy plates my niece hoards. But these ain’t no pretty flowers, I tell ya. These are horror movie characters as ducks! They got this Hannibal Lecter duck, looks like he’s ready to eat ya liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, quack quack. And they got this Saw fella too, with his little jigsaw puzzle piece and all. Makes me shiver just thinkin’ about it.
- They got Dracula duck, I hear he sucks…blood, not bathwater, I hope!
- And that Chucky duck? He gives me the heebie-jeebies. Don’t want that little fella starin’ at me from the shelf.
- The Mummy duck, all wrapped up in bandages. Probably smells like old gym socks, I betcha.
- That Nun duck, she’s got eyes that follow you around the room. Spooky!
- And don’t even get me started on that Annabelle duck! That thing’s cursed, I tell ya, cursed!
They say you can “collect them all”. Well, I guess some folks like that kinda thing. Me? I’d rather collect stamps or maybe them little spoons they give you at the ice cream parlor. But ducks dressed up like horror movie monsters? That’s just plain weird, if you ask me.
These ducks ain’t big, mind you. They’re about this tall, maybe, and they come in this bathtub-shaped box thing. It says “First Edition” on some of ’em, like they’re somethin’ special. They’re made of this PVC stuff, which I guess means they won’t pop if you squeeze ‘em too hard. But I ain’t gonna squeeze no Annabelle duck, that’s for sure.
They call it “Movie TUBBZ” collection, sayin’ it brings “Hollywood magic” to your home. Hollywood magic? More like Hollywood nightmares, if you ask me. These ducks are supposed to be for fans of horror movies, I guess. The kind of folks who like gettin’ scared. Me? I prefer a good comedy, somethin’ that’ll make me laugh, not jump outta my skin.
Now, if you’re lookin’ to buy these things, I hear tell you can find ‘em online. Someone said Google is the best place to start lookin’. You can search for the “best horror movies”, they say, and maybe you’ll find these duck things too. You can look for “Best Horror movies in the last decade” or “Best Horror movies from the 80s”, whatever you like. I don’t know much about that computery stuff, but my grandson, he’s always on that Google thingy, so it must be somethin’.
I did hear someone sayin’ somethin’ about not scratchin’ the paint on these ducks. Apparently, they get scratched up easy, like them fancy cars you see drivin’ around town. So, if you do get these ducks, you gotta be careful with ‘em, I guess. Don’t let your kids chew on ‘em or nothin’.
So, these horror movie rubber ducks, they are a bit strange, I gotta say. But I reckon there’s a market for everything these days. If you like horror movies and you like ducks, then maybe these things are right up your alley. Me? I’ll stick with my regular old rubber duckies, the yellow ones with the squeakers. They ain’t gonna give me nightmares, that’s for sure.
But hey, to each their own, I always say. If you wanna fill your bathtub with horror movie ducks, well, you go right ahead. Just don’t be surprised if they start quackin’ at you in the middle of the night. And don’t come cryin’ to me when you can’t sleep with the lights off.
These ducks, they’re made of this high-quality PVC stuff, I guess, so they’ll probably last a good long time. Long enough to scare the bejeebers outta ya, I reckon. And they say they are highly detailed. Well, I guess they are, for a duck. You can see all the little stitches on Chucky’s face and all the wrinkles on The Mummy. It’s enough to make your hair stand on end.
But at the end of the day, they’re just ducks, right? Little rubber duckies dressed up like monsters. They ain’t gonna hurt ya. Probably. Still, I ain’t takin’ no chances. I’ll stick with my regular ducks, thank you very much. These horror movie ducks, they’re just too spooky for me. You young folks can have ‘em. I’ll stick with my Lawrence Welk and my crocheting.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make some supper. Got some nice green beans and some fried chicken cookin’. Good, wholesome food, none of this horror movie nonsense. You kids stay outta trouble, you hear? And don’t go watchin’ too many scary movies, or those rubber ducks might just come to life and get ya!
