Alright, let’s talk about this horror movie stuff. You know, the kind where folks are runnin’ and screamin’ and gettin’ themselves chopped up. People always askin’, “Could I survive that?” Well, let me tell ya, it ain’t as easy as them fancy folks on the TV make it look.
First off, these horror movies, they always got some kinda creepy thing goin’ on. Ghosts, killers, monsters… you name it. Now, me? I ain’t afraid of no ghost. I seen enough weird stuff in my life to know most of it’s just hot air. But a real, live killer? That’s a different story. Them fellas are sneaky, and they ain’t playin’ around.
- Stayin’ Aware: First thing, you gotta keep your eyes peeled. No starin’ at your phone, no daydreamin’ about that handsome fella from the market. You gotta be lookin’ left, right, and behind you. See somethin’ outta place? Hear a funny noise? Don’t go checkin’ it out like them dumb kids in the movies. You get outta there, and you get outta there fast.
- Use Your Brains: These city folks, they always runnin’ around like chickens with their heads cut off. That ain’t gonna get you nowhere. You gotta think. Where would you hide? Where would the killer go? Use what you got around you. A heavy pan, a shovel, even a good ol’ rock. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.
- Stick Together (Maybe): Now, some folks say there’s safety in numbers. Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes, that extra person is just another mouth to feed, or worse, another target. But if you got someone you trust, someone who ain’t gonna scream at the first sign of trouble, then stick with ’em. Two heads are better than one, especially when one of them heads knows how to swing a broom handle. But if they are slow, or a burden, ditch’em, honey it’s your life we are talking about.
Thinkin’ about those spooky movies, they always got some silly girl runnin’ upstairs when she should be runnin’ out the door. That’s just plain dumb. You get a clear path, you take it. Don’t go lookin’ for trouble, it’ll find you soon enough.
And another thing, these movie folks, they never lock their doors! You think I leave my door unlocked? Not on your life. First thing I do when I get home is bolt that door, windows too. You wanna keep the bad stuff out, you gotta make it hard for ’em to get in.
Now, let’s say you do come face to face with the bad guy. What then? Well, you ain’t gonna win by playin’ fair. These killers, they don’t play fair. You gotta fight dirty. Scratch, bite, kick, whatever it takes. Go for the eyes, the throat, the groin. Don’t give ‘em a chance to fight back. And if you got a weapon, use it. Don’t hesitate. It’s them or you.
Survival ain’t about being the strongest or the fastest, it’s about being smart. It’s about knowing your surroundings, knowing your limits, and knowing when to run. It’s about doing whatever it takes to see another sunrise.
So, would I survive a horror movie? Well, I ain’t sayin’ it’d be easy, but I ain’t goin’ down without a fight. I’ve lived a long life, seen a lot of things. I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of trouble. And I’m still here, ain’t I? That’s gotta count for somethin’. These young folks in these films they got no common sense. That’s their biggest problem.
And let me tell ya something else, them fancy “survival quizzes”? Waste of time. You wanna know if you’ll survive? Look in the mirror. Ask yourself if you got the guts to do what needs doin’. That’s the only test that matters. You don’t need no test to tell you common sense stuff. Just keep your eyes open, your mouth shut, and your wits about you. And for goodness sake, don’t go wandering around in the dark!
These movies, they try to scare ya, but real life? Real life can be a whole lot scarier. But you know what? You can survive that too. You just gotta be tough, you gotta be smart, and you gotta be willin’ to fight for what’s yours.
So next time you watch one of them horror movies, don’t just sit there and scream. Think about what you’d do. Think about how you’d survive. Because you never know when you might need those skills. Life can throw some curveballs at you, and you gotta be ready for anything.
And remember this: fear is a weapon. The bad guys, they use it to control you. But you can use it too. Use it to sharpen your focus, to heighten your senses, to give you that extra edge you need to survive. Don’t let it control you. You control it.
One last thing. If you do survive, don’t go blabbin’ about it to everyone. Keep your head down, stay quiet, and go on with your life. The last thing you want is to attract more trouble. Trust me on that one. Some things are better left unsaid.
